I have failed countless times to update this blog, and I have a feeling no one really reads anymore. However, since this was where I started writing it always feels most comforting to return to write short bit about my life here
I was browsing today this article where a number of individuals had submitted pictures or scans of their teenage diaries. I have hardly graduated out of teenhood myself; once a very interesting character told me that you don't truly stop being a teen until you've passed 25 years of age. Sometimes not even then. Yet I can't help but look at (the now hidden) entries that used to chronicle my life in secondary school and then in junior college. I was a very different person then, and yet, not so.
As I write this now, I am waiting for myself to fall asleep, for the memories in my head to die down so I may just tumble into a nice dreamless sleep.
Yet sleep evades me, as it naturally does when you need to wake mere hours later for the most important task of school. It feels so new all over again, because people just come and go and come back again.
But enough of my rambling, I should really try to at least close my eyes and lay down, and hope that eventually sleep will take me.
To all those people who left my life, I miss you. You know who you are
<3 M
marlz. daughter. sister. friend. cousin. girl. 1988. born to die.
sunnuntai, toukokuuta 02, 2004
...storyofalovesotrue...
a story of a love so true...that one who needs what he gave away for a living...gave it to his true love and walked away...to make sure she did not see his suffering...and so she would not feel guilty...
i teared...watching it...it proved how much one would sacrifice...to see that one's love does not suffer...how sad...how touching...heart wrenching...oh gosh...yes i teared...
what happened here? the row...its still dragging on...and i wonder where the love has gone...i saved the roses...that i dried...and i feel as if whatever was between them bcame just like the dried roses...the scent is there...but oh so faint...and then there is us...stuck in the middle...what can we do but watch, in pain?
this bites...it really does...i woke up this morning feeling as if i was being watched...i read my book last night feeling as if i was being watched...i still feel as if i'm being watched...somehow...it doesn't feel fake at all...i have no fear of being watched for i have nothing to hide...but it doesn't feel right...as if there is someone haunting me...someone, not something...its not a spirit...not a ghost...not a lost soul...i know what their presence feels like...no, this is not the same...what could it be, i wonder...and who is this person...so intent on watching me...only time will tell...
time does NOt heal all wounds...it only makes you forget...and then for only a while...and even then, a small tiny thing can trigger off that memory...infact, as time passes...more wounds are inflicted...never thought of that? well...since that happens, and more wounds occur along the way while you are hoping that time heals your old wounds...it means that you'll never be healed of all your wounds...so don't give me that "time heals all wounds" crap...its nonsense...no one will ever be fully healed...
a story of a love so true...you left me so i would not suffer...you suffered instead...now im suffering without you...
i.feel.your.pain.
5/02/2004 05:29:00 ap.