I have failed countless times to update this blog, and I have a feeling no one really reads anymore. However, since this was where I started writing it always feels most comforting to return to write short bit about my life here
I was browsing today this article where a number of individuals had submitted pictures or scans of their teenage diaries. I have hardly graduated out of teenhood myself; once a very interesting character told me that you don't truly stop being a teen until you've passed 25 years of age. Sometimes not even then. Yet I can't help but look at (the now hidden) entries that used to chronicle my life in secondary school and then in junior college. I was a very different person then, and yet, not so.
As I write this now, I am waiting for myself to fall asleep, for the memories in my head to die down so I may just tumble into a nice dreamless sleep.
Yet sleep evades me, as it naturally does when you need to wake mere hours later for the most important task of school. It feels so new all over again, because people just come and go and come back again.
But enough of my rambling, I should really try to at least close my eyes and lay down, and hope that eventually sleep will take me.
To all those people who left my life, I miss you. You know who you are
<3 M
marlz. daughter. sister. friend. cousin. girl. 1988. born to die.
keskiviikkona, toukokuuta 05, 2004
..jealousy or is it something else?
i have a feeling that there is a little jealousy over the making up...yea...someone is jealous...ask me to stay away frm him also...haiyoh...nvm, its all over and i can't be bothered with everything else...as long as things are fine, and our friendship still there, i don't care what others have to say...
headache...this school has a problem managing time...everything runs late...remedials...assembly...even PC in the hall...if you ask us to manage our time well, at least show that the school manages to run on time as well...how can we study effectively, if we hardly have any recess or lunch...take today for example...i had to rush for listening exam (MT) and i had to rush aft that for prac exam (music) and you know what time our Pc ended in the hall? 2.05 pm when we had to report for the first exam at 2.15...i mean pls, we are humans...think of us also, and the fact that the canteen is really small and can't accomodate all the students who all want to grab a bite before class...it is utterly ridiculous....
very very upset over the stupid accusation...but M.K said it was okay, and that i should take it as a compliment that one would think that i would steal a story...my story was too perfect, i should learn to flaw it while i'm still taking exams...no pt being accused again...
this row is simmering down...thank gdness...tired of being sarcastic all the time...then again, i'm always sarcastic...which means i'm also always tired...which i am now...angry also...over the usual stuff...living...esp that...i'm going to do what i want...and i don't care what others say abt it...its not going to be obvious though, so don't try to guess...plans are confidential...btw me myself and i...being vague so no upsets occur...
arguments...btw me myself and i...so many things i'm unsure of...particularly of this new fear..of hurting other ppl...particularly one person...but well...if you insist, i will oblige...and there is that risk...and i warned beforehand...just praying that nothing goes wrong...i will share...i gave my word...don't worry abt that...
this stupid thing going on...as if my heart hasn't been broken and glued bakc together so many times already...so it happens again...they just don't get it do they? i may have to resort to other things...
giving a good act nowadays...only one person doesn't believe me...cus he has a habit of looking into my eyes...so yea...he knows...shan't mention names, only he and i know who he is...btw, good luck with taht prob of yours ar...now's not the time to think abt it lah, do concentrate on your exams first...aft that then maybe can...see how...will help as much as i can...
perfection...means flawlessness...being flawless in my essays...shows i am perfect grammatically when writing...style is still very different...still exploring what is more perfect...still hooked on perfection...sorry...
i can't help but think back and wonder why i wasted my time argueing...now at least i know i'll be pleasnig myself...soon..very soon...
5/05/2004 11:07:00 ap.