I have failed countless times to update this blog, and I have a feeling no one really reads anymore. However, since this was where I started writing it always feels most comforting to return to write short bit about my life here
I was browsing today this article where a number of individuals had submitted pictures or scans of their teenage diaries. I have hardly graduated out of teenhood myself; once a very interesting character told me that you don't truly stop being a teen until you've passed 25 years of age. Sometimes not even then. Yet I can't help but look at (the now hidden) entries that used to chronicle my life in secondary school and then in junior college. I was a very different person then, and yet, not so.
As I write this now, I am waiting for myself to fall asleep, for the memories in my head to die down so I may just tumble into a nice dreamless sleep.
Yet sleep evades me, as it naturally does when you need to wake mere hours later for the most important task of school. It feels so new all over again, because people just come and go and come back again.
But enough of my rambling, I should really try to at least close my eyes and lay down, and hope that eventually sleep will take me.
To all those people who left my life, I miss you. You know who you are
<3 M
marlz. daughter. sister. friend. cousin. girl. 1988. born to die.
maanantaina, toukokuuta 24, 2004
...fear factor...
spent last night at whitesands mcdonalds with a friend...yea, talking and stuff...walked home...then went to the ATM machine at dr 6 bcos the one at WS was out of order...and the one downstair only was able to give out 50 bucks which i didn't have...so i was desperate...
so well, i got home kinda late...then i did my ironing and stuff...then picked up a book and read until like 1 am, when i realised everyone was asleep...so yea, i decided to be guai, and go to sleep...and i sat at my bed...realised i couldn't sleep...so i chanted this all throught the night..." i will go to sleep soon"...all the way till the alarm clock rang...then i just like got ready...gulped down some coffee...ran to sch...continued running arnd sch...and got all sweaty...was pooped...continued with MT intensive...
got home...went out with my daddy Imah...talked lots...abt things...and yea, girl stuff...and then we talked abt this dilemma i've been goin through...then we also talked abt some of her things...and also abt A...scary...i remember what this guy friend close to A said once to me...it scared the hell outta me...i thought i blocked that memory out...but well...it came flooding back...i was so scared...i bolted aft sending her back...
yea...ben having mixed feelings...like i dunno what i can do...someone just like plopped the heart into my hands, and like expects me to mend it...but i dunno how to go abt it...and its like, i have trust placed on me...i cherish it with all my heart...but at the same time...i dunno how to handle it, bcos i nv had the experience before...
i wish everything was ok...nothing was bad...imperfections disappear...then maybe...just maybe...
5/24/2004 01:19:00 ip.