I have failed countless times to update this blog, and I have a feeling no one really reads anymore. However, since this was where I started writing it always feels most comforting to return to write short bit about my life here
I was browsing today this article where a number of individuals had submitted pictures or scans of their teenage diaries. I have hardly graduated out of teenhood myself; once a very interesting character told me that you don't truly stop being a teen until you've passed 25 years of age. Sometimes not even then. Yet I can't help but look at (the now hidden) entries that used to chronicle my life in secondary school and then in junior college. I was a very different person then, and yet, not so.
As I write this now, I am waiting for myself to fall asleep, for the memories in my head to die down so I may just tumble into a nice dreamless sleep.
Yet sleep evades me, as it naturally does when you need to wake mere hours later for the most important task of school. It feels so new all over again, because people just come and go and come back again.
But enough of my rambling, I should really try to at least close my eyes and lay down, and hope that eventually sleep will take me.
To all those people who left my life, I miss you. You know who you are
<3 M
marlz. daughter. sister. friend. cousin. girl. 1988. born to die.
lauantaina, toukokuuta 22, 2004
...beach...
left me home pretty early this mornin...went to meet joyce and shimin, my dearest sotong, at the mrt station...headed down to ikea to look at the boxes...been sometime since i was there...loadsa memories...nostalgia...well, i just love the scnet of pine wood, so i really took my time there...ate some luch...surprised? well...i'm learning to eat my lunch slowly by slowly...usually, i'd pass if i had the chance to pass...but well, trying my best means trying to eat lunch more regularly...so i did...
min min dropped at bugis to see her friend...me and joyce dropped at pasir ris...i lugged the groceries i had back home...you know my mummy...get the opportunity to ask me buy groceries, she will...so yea, bought the nakkari and hapan korppu...nakkileipa was impt as well...and of course, the salmiakki...shimin and joyce had a sample of it and were pretty much disgusted...but me and finnish food go so well together, i couldn't resist buying another pack to appease my sweet tooth...or rather, salty tooth...so yea i walked home
went to the beach later...was pretty snappy...snapping at everyone...at the beach was the usual AF and AK...faqih and farid also...they weren't bathing in the sea...i laughed some...which was painful...stomach muscles still aching...then i decided to go for a walk...you know me and the beach are like what...so sat...i hated being disrupted from my thoughts...they went back real early...
still awfully upset...moody...you know...not "funny"...vowed to block that out of my mind best possible...somtimes there is the urge, but i just block it...listen to something...or knock my head against the wall...usually, the latter...yea...but besides that, i'm feeling really upset bcos of other things...feels like no one here for me lor...i really dunno why i bother like to be friendly and nice and all that, when in the end...the only persons i cry with are me, myself and i...
i was crying and no one was there for me...again...
5/22/2004 01:04:00 ip.