I have failed countless times to update this blog, and I have a feeling no one really reads anymore. However, since this was where I started writing it always feels most comforting to return to write short bit about my life here
I was browsing today this article where a number of individuals had submitted pictures or scans of their teenage diaries. I have hardly graduated out of teenhood myself; once a very interesting character told me that you don't truly stop being a teen until you've passed 25 years of age. Sometimes not even then. Yet I can't help but look at (the now hidden) entries that used to chronicle my life in secondary school and then in junior college. I was a very different person then, and yet, not so.
As I write this now, I am waiting for myself to fall asleep, for the memories in my head to die down so I may just tumble into a nice dreamless sleep.
Yet sleep evades me, as it naturally does when you need to wake mere hours later for the most important task of school. It feels so new all over again, because people just come and go and come back again.
But enough of my rambling, I should really try to at least close my eyes and lay down, and hope that eventually sleep will take me.
To all those people who left my life, I miss you. You know who you are
<3 M
marlz. daughter. sister. friend. cousin. girl. 1988. born to die.
torstaina, toukokuuta 06, 2004
...adikology...
misunderstood the jealousy...glad it was cleared...
went to study with jani and master...cleared some eng stuff...aisam comes along with isa...then that e-diot...eeeyoh...i hate seeing him...the very sight makes me irritated...was pretty intensive...quite funny also...laughed alot...ATE!! i ate...since no rice for me...seldom mee unless i got the mood...i ate potato! fries to be exact...so yea...very cold...*brr*...
jani went home with the mummy...i walked home with someone else...decline to mention name...just that i hope the talk made you feel better? you're sure of yourself, thats good...but i feel you got some misconceptions...then again, we think in diff manner, so i can't compare...
exam tml...not nervous for the papers tml...but might be for the other papers ahead...very tired...
tired of acting? definitely...but i can't stop...its too automated...scary encounter today caused me to act...jani was surprised i had no reaction...which means she bought my act..if i can fool her, i can fool anyone...scary thought for others...but not for me...whatever it is...even though i fool...when i give my word, i mean it...i hate this gamble called life...no hope...nothing to hope for...
row almost over...but not quite...talking at the top of my voice to avoid the noise...spent my last night thinking again...how stupid i am...how foolish i was to believe that everything will be okay...its never going to...you are right, i have nothing to hope for...thats why i choose the path i choose...wrote long comment abt it on the board today...it may seem stupid to others, but not to me...sensible is also in the eye of the beholder...depends where you are frm, how you were brought up, and the way you were taught to think...the way i think wasn't taught by others though...taught myself...like always...
adikology: the study of how to be a proper adik without upsetting abang...
5/06/2004 12:45:00 ip.