I have failed countless times to update this blog, and I have a feeling no one really reads anymore. However, since this was where I started writing it always feels most comforting to return to write short bit about my life here
I was browsing today this article where a number of individuals had submitted pictures or scans of their teenage diaries. I have hardly graduated out of teenhood myself; once a very interesting character told me that you don't truly stop being a teen until you've passed 25 years of age. Sometimes not even then. Yet I can't help but look at (the now hidden) entries that used to chronicle my life in secondary school and then in junior college. I was a very different person then, and yet, not so.
As I write this now, I am waiting for myself to fall asleep, for the memories in my head to die down so I may just tumble into a nice dreamless sleep.
Yet sleep evades me, as it naturally does when you need to wake mere hours later for the most important task of school. It feels so new all over again, because people just come and go and come back again.
But enough of my rambling, I should really try to at least close my eyes and lay down, and hope that eventually sleep will take me.
To all those people who left my life, I miss you. You know who you are
<3 M
marlz. daughter. sister. friend. cousin. girl. 1988. born to die.
torstaina, huhtikuuta 29, 2004
...hearts strings...
this post...its dedicated to a friend...who is suffering bcos of matters of the heart...
my dearest...what is love? really? love...comes in so many different forms...love for your family...country...love for God...and also, for a single being who comes into your life...and seems to change everything around...that kind of love...can be bliss while it lasts...and also potentially cause so much destruction and hate after...it can make you soar so high...and suddenly plummet to the ground in a second...i guess thats why they say that you fall in love...
you took a risk, my dearest...you put your heart into her hands...and closed her fingers around them...trusted her with it...and believe me...this coming from a girl...that she will always remember how it felt, beating warmly, in between her fingers...do not think that she will forget you...she never will...the scent that keeps haunting you will haunt her as well...she will always remember the the rhythm of your heart...and how she held it so gently before...for fear of breaking it...your heart was either returned to you...or it was shattered...i do not know which....but remember that memory will plague her for the rest of her life...and the good times you had together will always be at the back of her memory when she moves on...and that scent will linger on forever...
do not think you have lost the capability to love...as long as you are missing her...you are still loving...and if you still are capable of loving her that long...then that means you will always be capable of loving another...the fact that you are alive shows that you love God...that you love life...that you can and will love...do not worry about that for now...concentrate on remembering to love those around you no less than you used to...they will always love you...so return the favour...love them in return...
you asked me why is love so hard to forget...its not hard to forget, dearest...it is unforgettable...you will think of the times you had together always...let that motivate you to continue loving...to seek more happiness...though it may not be with her...with your friends, and your family...
she will always think of you...trust me...even when she is with another...she'll expect him to love her like you did...bcos the memory of you loving her was so strong...she expects nothing less...and if she does not get the same or more...she'll continue missing you like you do her...
to forget her is cruel...to believe that she wants to move on and that she wants you to move on as well...that is what true love is...it may have faded...but it is still present to an extent that she still cares...and wants you to do whats best...never forget that...
if you need to cry...do so, please...and if you feel the knot inside still hasn't untangled, and you cannot take comfort in tears...remember that there are friends such as me who love you enough to talk with you...and also to cry with you if there is a need...just let those tears flow...
be not afraid to let go...
4/29/2004 01:20:00 ip.