I have failed countless times to update this blog, and I have a feeling no one really reads anymore. However, since this was where I started writing it always feels most comforting to return to write short bit about my life here
I was browsing today this article where a number of individuals had submitted pictures or scans of their teenage diaries. I have hardly graduated out of teenhood myself; once a very interesting character told me that you don't truly stop being a teen until you've passed 25 years of age. Sometimes not even then. Yet I can't help but look at (the now hidden) entries that used to chronicle my life in secondary school and then in junior college. I was a very different person then, and yet, not so.
As I write this now, I am waiting for myself to fall asleep, for the memories in my head to die down so I may just tumble into a nice dreamless sleep.
Yet sleep evades me, as it naturally does when you need to wake mere hours later for the most important task of school. It feels so new all over again, because people just come and go and come back again.
But enough of my rambling, I should really try to at least close my eyes and lay down, and hope that eventually sleep will take me.
To all those people who left my life, I miss you. You know who you are
<3 M
marlz. daughter. sister. friend. cousin. girl. 1988. born to die.
torstaina, huhtikuuta 22, 2004
...crummy...
today went to school early...to give my abang a surprise...the nite before he was like...adik you know what?...nvm i change my mind you find out for yourself...as if i didn't know he was referring to his b'dae...this adik ar...very the smart one...plan your bdae surprise since late march/early april...ahakz...and you should have seen the surprise on his face...so very hilarious...anyways, by pressie was pretty humble...i made it myself...and i hope my dearest abang enjoys savouring them....HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!
besides this happy occassion i've been feeling pretty crummy all day...sick...and coughing...i screwed up my scales during the auditions because of coughing too much and listening too little...and i also was pretty out of pitch on the higher notes...darns...saw this sembawang sec girl...mr masri's band kid...didn't say hi though...i proved, once again how useless i am...feel like...but can't...its abang's happy day...i don't want to spoil it for him...
cry...i managed to find my mask today...but well...i can feel how wet my cheeks are under the mask...and its getting more wet every second...tears rolling down my cheeks...i feel so very tired...too tired to breathe...
i'm a screw up...a failure...and if any person is going to challenge me on this one...i won't listen...i have selective hearing now...i warn you...
4/22/2004 11:15:00 ap.