I have failed countless times to update this blog, and I have a feeling no one really reads anymore. However, since this was where I started writing it always feels most comforting to return to write short bit about my life here
I was browsing today this article where a number of individuals had submitted pictures or scans of their teenage diaries. I have hardly graduated out of teenhood myself; once a very interesting character told me that you don't truly stop being a teen until you've passed 25 years of age. Sometimes not even then. Yet I can't help but look at (the now hidden) entries that used to chronicle my life in secondary school and then in junior college. I was a very different person then, and yet, not so.
As I write this now, I am waiting for myself to fall asleep, for the memories in my head to die down so I may just tumble into a nice dreamless sleep.
Yet sleep evades me, as it naturally does when you need to wake mere hours later for the most important task of school. It feels so new all over again, because people just come and go and come back again.
But enough of my rambling, I should really try to at least close my eyes and lay down, and hope that eventually sleep will take me.
To all those people who left my life, I miss you. You know who you are
<3 M
marlz. daughter. sister. friend. cousin. girl. 1988. born to die.
tiistaina, huhtikuuta 20, 2004
...crescendo...
crescendo...got some hugs...didn't see kor or lonesome...sobsob...lonesome's hug is sooo warm and comforting...and i really needed it today...but well, he couldn't make it...so i made do with huda's and fadzie's and liwei's...still...lots of fakie smiles all over the place...and i got splinters in my leg...from the finale rehearsal...and it hurt so bad i cried...err...not for the first time that day...i cried in the bus there...on the way back...and also sometime during the interval...
i actually though i would be free of any apple encounter...guess what...he came for the night show...and was sitting right IN FRONT...nearer to Sinee...so though i was nervous...at least he wasn't directly below me...then just five minutes before our fanfare...he exchanged places with the person directly below me...and i got so nervous, i trembled throughout John Williams...and i was afraid during Louis Armstrong...so i just continued and got out of the hall quickly...
aft that got pic with abang...thank you for coming and supporting us...too bad andrew din come...i really wanted you to meet him...and also a huge hug frm him lar i admit...
took lotsa pics as well with leying and co...aiyoh...dunno how to smile
i saw ppl laughing...
i say ppl smile...
and i smiled and laughed
with them...
but i don't feel a part of them...
for they are full of joy...
and i of sorrow...
and though i smile and laugh
the eyes, a window to my soul
reveal much more of what's in my heart...
did you notice...did you notice?
only one did...
a stranger who observed from afar...
but those closest...
did not see...
for even they were fooled by my smile...
eyes never lie...
i shall shut them now...
and sleep forevermore...
4/20/2004 02:37:00 ip.