I have failed countless times to update this blog, and I have a feeling no one really reads anymore. However, since this was where I started writing it always feels most comforting to return to write short bit about my life here
I was browsing today this article where a number of individuals had submitted pictures or scans of their teenage diaries. I have hardly graduated out of teenhood myself; once a very interesting character told me that you don't truly stop being a teen until you've passed 25 years of age. Sometimes not even then. Yet I can't help but look at (the now hidden) entries that used to chronicle my life in secondary school and then in junior college. I was a very different person then, and yet, not so.
As I write this now, I am waiting for myself to fall asleep, for the memories in my head to die down so I may just tumble into a nice dreamless sleep.
Yet sleep evades me, as it naturally does when you need to wake mere hours later for the most important task of school. It feels so new all over again, because people just come and go and come back again.
But enough of my rambling, I should really try to at least close my eyes and lay down, and hope that eventually sleep will take me.
To all those people who left my life, I miss you. You know who you are
<3 M
marlz. daughter. sister. friend. cousin. girl. 1988. born to die.
keskiviikkona, maaliskuuta 24, 2004
oh please dun take my sunshine away....
i'm thinking abt the sunshine again...and it hurts bad...cus he accused me of something today...hey...i'm not out there to spoil your rep...and i know you have a rep to keep...just like me...but if stuff leaks out...or ppl make assumptions...or jump to conclusions...dun blame me straight...already...i gave you my heart...you smashed it...and then tried to glue it back and return it...and now this...can't you trust me just once? i'm not out to sabo you so stop those accusations, ya...can't you tell...it still hurts so much...and you are out to hurt me more...and at the same time, you tell me you care for me, really...i dun get you anymore...i really don't
i cried on my way home today...i was alright all the way up to the traffic light facing my block...chang yong and tabitha were on the other side of the road...and well...there was someone behind...and i din notice...and as soon as the light turned green...the person behind walked past me quickly...A...i got the shock of my life...and he walked in the same direction as me...with his friend in front...so i walked into the blocks quickly...and walked as slowly as possible to avoid bumping into him...but i couldn't stop trembling...so close...too close for comfort...its like my bad dreams coming true...and it seemed so for that moment...still shakin...
some stupid talk...made it worse...temptations...growing, growing...and to have ppl like the Oakley bro's to rub it in dun help...i know, i know...you are trying to show you care...but pls...dun rub it in? its bad enough as it is...
temptations...what do you do when they grow stronger...resistance is futile
3/24/2004 11:40:00 ap.