I have failed countless times to update this blog, and I have a feeling no one really reads anymore. However, since this was where I started writing it always feels most comforting to return to write short bit about my life here
I was browsing today this article where a number of individuals had submitted pictures or scans of their teenage diaries. I have hardly graduated out of teenhood myself; once a very interesting character told me that you don't truly stop being a teen until you've passed 25 years of age. Sometimes not even then. Yet I can't help but look at (the now hidden) entries that used to chronicle my life in secondary school and then in junior college. I was a very different person then, and yet, not so.
As I write this now, I am waiting for myself to fall asleep, for the memories in my head to die down so I may just tumble into a nice dreamless sleep.
Yet sleep evades me, as it naturally does when you need to wake mere hours later for the most important task of school. It feels so new all over again, because people just come and go and come back again.
But enough of my rambling, I should really try to at least close my eyes and lay down, and hope that eventually sleep will take me.
To all those people who left my life, I miss you. You know who you are
<3 M
marlz. daughter. sister. friend. cousin. girl. 1988. born to die.
perjantaina, maaliskuuta 05, 2004
i still can't believe she guessed right...now everyone is trying to guess...no one is right yet lar...but i'm afraid they will be in time...why, why did you have to go and give it away like that...what its done is done...lets just keep it quiet now...
well...i got quite mad today...wif someone...ok...it goes like this...person A, whom i'm mad at...accused person B, whom i'm close to, of telling me something abt A which is not true...in other words...a rumour...well, so i got mad...and then it blew over so i let it go...but then we were talking...and he told me something abt an argument with B once...and said that person B always does so and so and so...but the thing was, that it wasn't a private conversation, so others heard what he had to say...i'm kinda mad...and he also accused me indirectly of something...i know, it was meant to be a joke, but well...it hit me that things aren't going so well...
goodness...my nightmare was back with a vengeance last night...i actually dreamt A got INTO my room and the my BEDROOM...and A actually pushed me down by the shoulders and started struggling with me...i woke up and could hardly sleep the rest of the night...until the wee hrs of the morning...when i finally got to sleep...
well, well...someone is talking to me again...i really wonder why...so long that we hardly talked, but today we did...its weird...really weird...
the hole in my heart has not been filled...i want to just go...go far away...i broke another promise...but this time...i broke it because i had a reason...and i shan't elaborate further...
going...going...gone...goodbye
3/05/2004 10:23:00 ap.