I have failed countless times to update this blog, and I have a feeling no one really reads anymore. However, since this was where I started writing it always feels most comforting to return to write short bit about my life here
I was browsing today this article where a number of individuals had submitted pictures or scans of their teenage diaries. I have hardly graduated out of teenhood myself; once a very interesting character told me that you don't truly stop being a teen until you've passed 25 years of age. Sometimes not even then. Yet I can't help but look at (the now hidden) entries that used to chronicle my life in secondary school and then in junior college. I was a very different person then, and yet, not so.
As I write this now, I am waiting for myself to fall asleep, for the memories in my head to die down so I may just tumble into a nice dreamless sleep.
Yet sleep evades me, as it naturally does when you need to wake mere hours later for the most important task of school. It feels so new all over again, because people just come and go and come back again.
But enough of my rambling, I should really try to at least close my eyes and lay down, and hope that eventually sleep will take me.
To all those people who left my life, I miss you. You know who you are
<3 M
marlz. daughter. sister. friend. cousin. girl. 1988. born to die.
maanantaina, maaliskuuta 22, 2004
commitments...
a commitment...i made one...bcos someone pinpointed my weakness and asked me to do it for him...i can't choose btw me and him...i'll always choose him...gosh...so now, this commitment...i have to do something i've never done before...love myself...thats hard...very hard...
remember the dear mdm chan...the band teach in charge for like 4 yrs...yea...she aint in school anymore...but i remember she gave me a hug last yr during teachers' day...and i remember...she told me that i don't love myself enough...and i also recall telling myself....thats not true...i don't love myself at all...
so now friend...i have to find something to love about myself...and i'm having a very hard time...bcos i've never loved myself before...so i dunno what is there to love about myself...with the sunshine...i'm sure he loved the moon...if not alot...then at least to some extent...but why the sunshine loved the moon...that i have no idea...
so now...i don't know how to go about what i need to go about doing...all i can say is that...i'm glad to have a friend like him...who makes me do impossible things...and now i need his help once more...to learn how to love myself...do me this favour...bcos you made me commit...or i'll never be able to pull through....
yes...friends...i love them...do they love me? one does...thats enough...just one...cos once good friend makes a big difference...
3/22/2004 11:42:00 ap.