I have failed countless times to update this blog, and I have a feeling no one really reads anymore. However, since this was where I started writing it always feels most comforting to return to write short bit about my life here
I was browsing today this article where a number of individuals had submitted pictures or scans of their teenage diaries. I have hardly graduated out of teenhood myself; once a very interesting character told me that you don't truly stop being a teen until you've passed 25 years of age. Sometimes not even then. Yet I can't help but look at (the now hidden) entries that used to chronicle my life in secondary school and then in junior college. I was a very different person then, and yet, not so.
As I write this now, I am waiting for myself to fall asleep, for the memories in my head to die down so I may just tumble into a nice dreamless sleep.
Yet sleep evades me, as it naturally does when you need to wake mere hours later for the most important task of school. It feels so new all over again, because people just come and go and come back again.
But enough of my rambling, I should really try to at least close my eyes and lay down, and hope that eventually sleep will take me.
To all those people who left my life, I miss you. You know who you are
<3 M
marlz. daughter. sister. friend. cousin. girl. 1988. born to die.
keskiviikkona, helmikuuta 11, 2004
its getting worse...hmz...tried to sleep...but couldn't..and i had this major argument wif chay ker last nite...i dun want you to remember me aft i'm gone...bcos i'm not worth it...but it doesn't mean i'll not remember you as long as i live...or have the ability to remember...i still remember all the things you've ever told me...and all the times you touched my heart...and the times you hurt me...and last nite, you did both...so i'm sorry...my mind is made up...and i wish you'll forgive me for wateva i do...and accept my decision...i never stpped you frm doing anything you wanted to before...and i supported you all the way...just support me, just this once...and you'll never have to ever again...take my word on that...i love you as a friend, for being who you are...dun deny me from being myself...i'm sorry
i went to school...but i din want to...had terrible class...revised for bio during physics...mr colin wasn't there....but when came the test...i totally blanked out...more remedials...i guess...hated my recess...turned frightening when spotted A in the canteen...wateva...i can't stand this anymore...
classes again...have lotsa hw to complete...then got SPA...then music...Bela Bartok made me feel worse...esp Concerto...stupid bird flu...went down only to find Alvin who wanted to talk to me...nothing you are goin to say will change my mind..only one thing can change my mind...and one person...but i dunno...i know you are trying to help...but pls...let me do as i want..just this once...my ankle's no better...SOP...might not be there...depends on what happens tonight...lets see if i'm successful this time..i hope i am...
sayang...i did not talk to you today...i will tml if i'm there...i'm sorry...i love you...
2/11/2004 12:01:00 ip.