I have failed countless times to update this blog, and I have a feeling no one really reads anymore. However, since this was where I started writing it always feels most comforting to return to write short bit about my life here
I was browsing today this article where a number of individuals had submitted pictures or scans of their teenage diaries. I have hardly graduated out of teenhood myself; once a very interesting character told me that you don't truly stop being a teen until you've passed 25 years of age. Sometimes not even then. Yet I can't help but look at (the now hidden) entries that used to chronicle my life in secondary school and then in junior college. I was a very different person then, and yet, not so.
As I write this now, I am waiting for myself to fall asleep, for the memories in my head to die down so I may just tumble into a nice dreamless sleep.
Yet sleep evades me, as it naturally does when you need to wake mere hours later for the most important task of school. It feels so new all over again, because people just come and go and come back again.
But enough of my rambling, I should really try to at least close my eyes and lay down, and hope that eventually sleep will take me.
To all those people who left my life, I miss you. You know who you are
<3 M
marlz. daughter. sister. friend. cousin. girl. 1988. born to die.
tiistaina, helmikuuta 10, 2004
i wish i could go to sleep and nv wake up again...my leg hurts, my head hurts, my heart hurts...everything hurts, esp the latter...i went to school today wuite upset..i dunno whether it was yesterday's full cup of depression that spilled into my today cup...but i felt really sad...upset...depressed...lets shorten things and say everything negative okay?
so got duty in the mornin...then the back gate ppl were late and i covered them...then i was fed up...and then went to the tower to find that ppl cabut duty...and then got ppl brought certain things home that they were not supposed to...anyway, got that over with and went to the ps...some briefing...then go to class...
today's simulation was crap...as you know, i sprained my ankle....and i ran down....then got some ppl give me problems when pass messages...i feel so stress...so mr ang ask me wads wrong lar...then everything start spilling out...darn...not only that tears also start spilling out...sayang, i know you are concerned...thank you, dear...i love you...but if anything happens, and i'm no longer here...pls forgive me...pls darling...
go for recess also cannot stop...see A make me worse...then i saw you sayang...make me cry...bcos i dun want to spoil the joy you are filled with...so ppl were like...wads wrong...i can't tell you....pls just leave me alone...so well...ranjani...your a peach, thanks...but your smile din help me today...finally go up, then go for band...so we started off badly, and i felt much worse...then this fadzly say harsh things, so i bcome even worse...and all the teacher made me think more...gosh...i finally went off for lunch wit sinee...and then accompany sally....he ask so many questions sia...nvm..he made me smile at least...
then go back...i dun fall in...leg pain...so then we finish up movie adv...and we went home...turns out the blazer din fit alvin, so i have to bring the other one back...
i wish to leave...forever...into a world of my own...where there is nothing to worry about...but only the things you love about you...humour...music...and sayang...there for me...as you are here...you are the only part that makes heaven feel a part of earth...only when i'm with you...but not otherwise...i'm sorry...love you dear
2/10/2004 10:26:00 ap.