I have failed countless times to update this blog, and I have a feeling no one really reads anymore. However, since this was where I started writing it always feels most comforting to return to write short bit about my life here
I was browsing today this article where a number of individuals had submitted pictures or scans of their teenage diaries. I have hardly graduated out of teenhood myself; once a very interesting character told me that you don't truly stop being a teen until you've passed 25 years of age. Sometimes not even then. Yet I can't help but look at (the now hidden) entries that used to chronicle my life in secondary school and then in junior college. I was a very different person then, and yet, not so.
As I write this now, I am waiting for myself to fall asleep, for the memories in my head to die down so I may just tumble into a nice dreamless sleep.
Yet sleep evades me, as it naturally does when you need to wake mere hours later for the most important task of school. It feels so new all over again, because people just come and go and come back again.
But enough of my rambling, I should really try to at least close my eyes and lay down, and hope that eventually sleep will take me.
To all those people who left my life, I miss you. You know who you are
<3 M
marlz. daughter. sister. friend. cousin. girl. 1988. born to die.
maanantaina, tammikuuta 19, 2004
feel half dead...so tired...and ran abt the school todae...*haiz*...and had a test..and was called out for some interview practice...i dunno what to think of that...
well..i feel kinda worried...very worried...and tired...very tired...
have band tml...then a whole week to recuperate...a whole week...
yea...i know this is rambling...my brains not focused...and my souls not rested...my body is exhausted...and i just feel tired...
feelings? did they ever exist?...maybe...maybe not...just too fed up to think...
mrs lim is back...and we did some stuff...assembly was long...and again fought wif my masters...i already established as a slave for some reason...slave...for who? for them...yes for them...
repetition...repeat...repetition...
pain...agony...sleepy...
what to do...frantic attempt...must redeem self...eugene is right...i should have done that...
interview with mrs teo...okay i guess...joseph is shorter than me...i think...he looks taller...but i think its his shoes...yes...it must be his shoes...*haiz*...
secrets...yesh...secrets....
i feel for another...yet...i have to face this...i wish i could just go on...with the other...and not have to handle secrets as old as this...for secrets of old are more potent than those of the present...
my heart belongs to another...yesh...it does...and i wait for him till the end of time...
but i must clear the ghosts of the past first...to clear my path ahead of me...to be free of worry...to tell the person that i have nothing to hide...so that everything can be true...
i fell hard...and i fell far...and redeemed myself...i thought i had moved on...but well...i dun think i have...fully at least...so i need to open up my heart to the one i love...for although it may upset him that i kept a part of my heart to myself...i was honest...and i know he will forgive me...
we may not be together forever...we may...but as long as we make each other happy...just ofor this little while...i will be happy...for i saw the true colours of this person...and all the good he is capable of...yesh...i'm satisfied with him...
1/19/2004 09:11:00 ap.