marlz. daughter. sister. friend. cousin. girl. 1988. born to die.
perjantaina, tammikuuta 30, 2004
aha...you FLIRT you....well...i sorta like it when you seek my attention...its so sweet of ya....yesh...it is...even if it means that my hair will be super messy afterwards...we need to work on that one...it takes me quite some time to tie my hair up...but i'd wear my hair diff for you if you like..yesh...IF you tell me, of course...no enuf of that
today was sallehin's bdae...HAPPY BDAE BOSS...hehe...i'm happy i got him sumthin...even if its a bit unsuitable...now i have soo many tuition student...my master and xingqi and ranjani for english....and now yongying for music theory...and also that means i have to make an effort to go revise everything...my printer is down, so i can't print any wksht for master...but i still have loads of work for you to do....yesh...and also when i do get my printer sorted out, loads of WS as well...
i feel kinda irritated...well....i have weird feeling that someone really realy hates me and is watching me...nope not anyone from my class...but someone else....everytime i see this shadow lurking in the background...everytime i turn, the person is not there anymore...or skulking away....goodness..i wish i knew the reason....or at least who this mystery person is...scary...
i have to go memorize some things my tutor told me to...now...while thinking of YOU of course...ciao
1/30/2004 11:53:00 ap.
torstaina, tammikuuta 29, 2004
haven't posted much lately....veryvery busy...oh my...
school as usual...band was on tues...so cool...my precious juniors are pretty much okay...one too quiet, and one too noisy...and one GREAT talent...yup, and i mean GREAT...movie adventures is nice...sounds very orchestral...i guess thats wad we are aiming fer...and i think its working out somehow...anyway, its great to see the band rebuilding...
well...i called mr goh to see how he was doin recently....he's happy, which is good...always be happy,cher...because life is short, and if you are happy...you've made the most of it...have no regrets...and have a go at everything that you have a chance at...no harm trying rite...treat everything like it was a once in a lifetime experience...and you'll always be happy...
went out today to get some stuff fer erhm, erhm...someone's bdae...well...i had a very TOUGH time finding something suitable...and spent like 2 hrs seaching everywhere...i dunno if wad i got was suitable...but i hope it will light up his life...and serve as a guiding light for times when days are the darkest...
well...had some tutoring with my master eric...haiyor...i'm really going to die with trigo...in fact i have dieded already...awww mann...a maths soo sux...
gave him the survey to complete...ahakz...veryvery interesting results...and all i can say is OMG...how can someone actually be soooo mixed up with Eng if the whole family is Eng speaking...goodness...gave some hw osso...and he better do...if not...he is going to D-I-E...yup...literally
well..i have his hw to complete also...and binomial theorem to study also...so better get going...ciao
1/29/2004 12:27:00 ip.
maanantaina, tammikuuta 26, 2004
sunday was so boring...
today i was a bit off...*bounce*...and we had our classes...and more trigo...cannot cope...anyway, ranjani din come...so ppl basically ran round in circles...u'r really important fren...
finally had a chat wif marcus...the band member frm states...it was over msn, and was really cool...and there was this other person who's really desperate fer a girl friend...and i certainly hope he doesn't hope to find one in me...i'm not taken, but my heart is...
i still haven't gotten that fella a pressie...and his bdae's this fri...die....
had meeting...and this EV thingamajig....tiring...got home very late...
and i have loads of graphs to draw...gosh...well...better get started...ciao
1/26/2004 10:28:00 ap.
lauantaina, tammikuuta 24, 2004
i went visiting today...left the house like 1130 hrs...i had pretty much nothin to wear...so i threw on anythin i could...blouse, singlet and skirt...din look too bad besides my skirt being a tad too short...but i looked ok...tried having my shirt unvuttoned fer a change...and ended up looking veryvery diff...haha...my frens actually sed i looked too havoc to be myself...
anyway i went with ranjani...and we met oke and eileena at the bus stop...er house is quite nice...i kinda worried bout the dog but it was locked up...eventually we ended up fixing that screwed up com of hers...and boy, is it screwed up...crapz...
was quite ok...then i left wif oke to go search fer a new a drive fer that gal...sumthin's stuck inside i think...and it needs to be changed...but we couldn't find, so we went to TM to get a bdae pressie fer his mum...so small...and cost so much...but nvm, its the thought that counts...that also reminds me i need to go get a pressie fer that boss of mine...and my big boss osso...both bdae cumin up...so must lor...
i just came home...its been raining the whole day wif no signs of change in weather...and i osso need to do some hw...haiyor...how i hate that word...i dun wan to do...aww mann...
soo dark at home...i actually dreamt i played truant at skool last nite...and went shopping at the airport...and i dreamt i was with hwee ying...and all of a sudden met my mum in the shop...and then i was dragged back to school and punished...oh no...wat a bad dream...i was on the topic of dreams of school with oke in the bus...we saw joyce wong outside the mrt station...and this guy smiled at me...he looked so freakishly like jacob...and then i looked carefully and realised it could not be him...could it? oh my...if it was then i was so rude...i dun say hi...or at least smile back...gosh...even hairstyle same...oh my....
well...i found out he got sacked...oke told me...thats prob why he's never online anymore...i guess...wateva...can't be bothered anymore...gotta go cook...mummy sick lar...ciao
1/24/2004 10:13:00 ap.
perjantaina, tammikuuta 23, 2004
i ended up overnighting at the park last nite...it was fun...and i saw many prcs ppl...including those whom i did NOT want to see...
well...i went there wif my guitar and stuff...and then we brought all the food...helped faqih to pitch the tents...OBS experience heheez...aniwae i was incharge of the tent pegs...which were all so bent they looked more like fishing hooks to me...
then i decided to go fer a walk...on my own...and i saw fadzly...surprise...i din expect that actually...and while i was walking across the bridge i saw wacharapong fishing...surprise...again...spent some time reflecting...and thinking abt things...i passed by some places...which i din...and i thought to myself what was i trying to look for there..even fadzly asked me if i was ok when he saw me...
i headed back and saw sumone i din want to...wc...argh...of all ppl...then when i went cycling he was no longer there...gave wacharapong a ride frm the toilet...then i went back...spent sumtime talkin to faqih abt camps and stuff...adaweya there as well...then i went home to get some stuff before heading back...
i spent time on the rock reflecting again...faqih nearly injured me with a fishing hook...fishing takde lesen jangan nak action...crazy fellow...nearly to the flesh off my foot...luckily he hit the sandal...not my foot itself...and he sorta got the line in a tangle...so i was bored and went cycling with faryed...in the dark...so cool...anyway...i saw zarifah there all of a sudden...so funny...was up fer some time at the bench...three guys passed me...and i sorta had my hair on my face...they were like...bangla ape ni?...they gotta shock when they saw it was a girl...and when i said assalamualaikum...ahakz...so funny...
well..i slept for like an hour before i woke up due to my autny shouting in my ear while i was sleeping...haiyor...talk so loud...well...i was up at arnd 3 and decided to go backt o the bench again...tat was arnd 4...and i suddenly saw rafidah walking...haha...was wif nurul...crazy girl wanted to bathe at 5 am...not me...in the end her mother din allow also...so i went alone at 6...so clean and nice...
aft bath went to cycle wif zaidi...he goes pretty fast...then we came back...and they breakfasted...and asked me at least a zillion times why i wasn't eating...and i answered for the umpteenth time that i'm not a breakfast person...gosh...started raining...and i looked like some mina kampung in this sarong over my head in the rain...i and faqih ran to shelter...we share sarong osso no use since it was drenched...wats more this cuzzin of mine went to shower...in the rain...and changed...and came back drenched because the rain got heavier while he was in the toilet...
so i went home lar...earlier...wlaked home drenched...this idiot tried to make a pass...middle aged fellow...told him off and walked away....serve him right...too bad i din get his licence plate number...that asshole...angry...i'm fuming...
before i went we talked some with fidah and zarifah...funology...anyway the hot topic was x country...gosh..i dun want to run...and neither does rifah...thank goodness i wasn't the only one...
i slept the rest of the afternoon...so fun...got some visiting to do tml...dreamt of you sayang....i wish you were there at the park...the sight of wc irked me...but if you were there i would have felt better...good night and sweet dreams friends...may God bless you
1/23/2004 02:02:00 ip.
torstaina, tammikuuta 22, 2004
well...its CNY already...yup it is...and i'm practically bored to death...bcos i need to wait at least 5 hrs more before the bbq...gosh...thats looong...
anyway...i'm lookin forward to seeing my cuzzins...and my relatives...and also just to think and reflect...
last nite i had the nicest dream...i dreamt sumone was at the beach with me today and picked up my guitar and played a song....just for me...alone...and it was the sweetest song...but the thing is...i don't remember who that person was...yet...i felt so close to the person...and i know he's someone i know...but i dun remember who...how infuriating...
anyway...i practically laughed like a mad woman last nite in my room alone...i was thinking of what happened yesteraday btw me and my master eric...haha..that stupid thing in the canteen...he was sitting a table away frm me and ranjani....and eating biscuits...and he did sumthing obscene with it...i shan't say wat it was...but it was hilarious...haha...i can't stop laughing now...hee...
well...i better see what that pesky bro of mine is doin behind me...crazy boy...like me...ciao
1/22/2004 04:22:00 ap.
keskiviikkona, tammikuuta 21, 2004
well...its the lunar new yr idreamt of sumthin just now while having my nap...meow...oh my...wasn't it a great dream...in fact...it was a really great dream...nahz...actually it wasn't...i dreamt of school...but isn't school great...yea...its was so yummylicious...meowza...
well...i have beeen quite bored at home...yup..bored...i chat just now to my senior...and nothin else...then basically sleep and have some reading time to myself...
after that i have to do some chores...boooring...fold clothes...and then my sis fren call...want to pass sumthin to her...i dunno lar...so bored that i followed her...i guess it was okay...windy nite...i wish i was out wif sumone...at the beach or sumfin...
anyway, got a bbq tml...and i think they are ovenighting at the beach...i get to walk abt...again...alone...in the wind...beside the sea..under a canopy of stars...a cloudless evening...i will wear black..again...and my lovely chain...yesh...as i always do...and walk and think...as i look at the waves crashing upon the shore...serenity...
so...well...i goin to my fren's house fer CNY...and i forgot to buy chockies fer her...mann...the shop wont be open tml...but i want to go out...darn...
i want a dress...weird isn't it...freaky...maybe i'm still high on the fake happiness i've been feeding myself...yesh...that's why i was bouncing off the walls...and still am...a black dress....that is quite long...arnd knee length you know? and it must be black...if there is any pattern its okay...crazy...freaky..me...the one who said she would never wear a dress for grad nite...yup...i think i wont for grad nite...but its not grad nite rite? and besides..i'm a girl...i have every right to wear a dress...yup...i think i will get a dress aft all...and also fer grad nite we will wear our skool uniform...how not nice...
bittersweet...piquant...soaring...melodious...mellow...
1/21/2004 02:54:00 ip.
i brought home the band rm key...AGAIN...i already changed into my home clothes....and had to change supersuper fast to run veryvery quickly back to school...gosh...i ain't keeping that key no matter what happens...EVER!!!
ok..so i'm pretty much bouncing off the walls..esp after yesterdae at school...bounce...bounce...bounce...
so we had lesson...and morning assembly where i was talking to the other ppl...settling this an that...freaky stuff like that...and of COURSE...without fail..i had band practice...so funtastical...
i got nu juniors...they don't look too bad...and get this..some actually chose to be in my section...yup...MY section...so fun...but i have only one girl though...which can be good or bad...see, girls are over emotional...unlike me so thick skin when comes to critics...but they cry when scolded abit...so that part i dun like...budden boys have a shorter attention span in music...and tend to be less lyrical...so i need to sort that out soon, or SYF 2005 got problems...
so after badn i had to run back to school...argh...nvm...enuf of that...but i had an okay day yesterdae...argueing wif my masters...and stuff like that..yesh
today was half dae...so only like 3 lessons...saw liwei and dan...
mr chew asked me why i wasn't in the committee...come on guys...this discussion is considered OVER...yes...OVER because i am doing what i need to do...and that sallehin brought it up again this mornin...i dunno...he seems to be thinking...aren't you sally anderson?
today lesson quite okay...it was fun i guess...my master does not dare to do it...ahahaha...i know i sound as if i want it...but excuse me...i know he won't dare...thats why i dare to challenge him...and many others as well...bcos they never will...even up till the last dae of my schooling in PRCS...yea
it wasn't so bad...no it wasn't...well...i hope you rest at home for this hols...so i can see you healthy on monday...and tease me...again...yup...the orang putih wants you healthy...get that...good...God bless
1/21/2004 02:55:00 ap.
tiistaina, tammikuuta 20, 2004
i forgot the band room key...AGAIN!!!....and so i had to change out of my home clothes...super super fast...just to come back and give the key...i don't care what happens...i'm NOT holding the key eva again...
well...after venting my frustrations...back to my day...pretty normal day i guess...serving my masters...and argueing wif them as per normal...and doin stuff at skool...lessons...and freaky things like that...and of course...band
well...it was better than i thought...i realize something...i'm LOUDER....almost as loud as Fadzie last time....gosh...or may be even louder...that's freaky...but as long as i sound good its okay wif me..yea it is...really...
anyway...go thru oklahoma...and other pieces...sounds getting shaped real nice...reminds me of before...and go nu juniors...only one girl...how pathetic...well...at least they all look intelligent...and nice...and some of them chose our section...ahahaha...soooo nice....
that test todae...i wrote utter CRAPZ...what is it wif me an capitals today...ok...i being bery bery wierd...i must wash my darlin...he's too black to look like a polar bear anymore...he looks like...oh no...a SUNBEAR....wookay...here i go again...i think i better go rest...my brain...to much things to digest today...ciao
1/20/2004 09:59:00 ap.
maanantaina, tammikuuta 19, 2004
feel half dead...so tired...and ran abt the school todae...*haiz*...and had a test..and was called out for some interview practice...i dunno what to think of that...
well..i feel kinda worried...very worried...and tired...very tired...
have band tml...then a whole week to recuperate...a whole week...
yea...i know this is rambling...my brains not focused...and my souls not rested...my body is exhausted...and i just feel tired...
feelings? did they ever exist?...maybe...maybe not...just too fed up to think...
mrs lim is back...and we did some stuff...assembly was long...and again fought wif my masters...i already established as a slave for some reason...slave...for who? for them...yes for them...
repetition...repeat...repetition...
pain...agony...sleepy...
what to do...frantic attempt...must redeem self...eugene is right...i should have done that...
interview with mrs teo...okay i guess...joseph is shorter than me...i think...he looks taller...but i think its his shoes...yes...it must be his shoes...*haiz*...
secrets...yesh...secrets....
i feel for another...yet...i have to face this...i wish i could just go on...with the other...and not have to handle secrets as old as this...for secrets of old are more potent than those of the present...
my heart belongs to another...yesh...it does...and i wait for him till the end of time...
but i must clear the ghosts of the past first...to clear my path ahead of me...to be free of worry...to tell the person that i have nothing to hide...so that everything can be true...
i fell hard...and i fell far...and redeemed myself...i thought i had moved on...but well...i dun think i have...fully at least...so i need to open up my heart to the one i love...for although it may upset him that i kept a part of my heart to myself...i was honest...and i know he will forgive me...
we may not be together forever...we may...but as long as we make each other happy...just ofor this little while...i will be happy...for i saw the true colours of this person...and all the good he is capable of...yesh...i'm satisfied with him...
1/19/2004 09:11:00 ap.
sunnuntai, tammikuuta 18, 2004
ridiculous...its goin on too long...ok, so if you are reading, pls pls contact me...i really need to talk to you...and if it gets out there...then we are in deep...real deep...so i need to know if we still are going to keep this secret...and wat you wanna do since its happened...
if this doesn't work...then i have to go confront alone...in person...
it hurts...alot...gosh...
1/18/2004 04:19:00 ap.
i need to swallow this pain...its hurtin more and more...and i wish it just went away...leave me alone like it did durin the hols...why did it have to come back...and make me feel so down, and troubled...
i talked to huda abt it...my dear senior...and she said that she thinks i should talk to that person..i cannot keep btw myself and the other 2 ppl...bcos he's also involved...but i can't bring myself to do it...i can't even bring myself to stay nearby...just very far away...to ignore..its been goin on for too long...kebiasaan...
i spent lyke the whole nite debatin what i should do...with myself...this internal debate has gone on too long...but i know it will go on even longer if i don't do something...it might even become worse it it spreads...what then?
but yet...it hurts even more to confront...and to talk it out...for i have buried everything in my heart...blocked it out...so i thought...but just that simple acronym my friend uttered yesterday...brought it all back...and scared me to death...there is no way this can continue...
and then comes the issue of which of my friends to trust...i can't just decide like this...and i can't no decide either...bcos if i don't then what will happen if he continues to do what he did...i'm in a dilemma...
yes, my eyes sting with the thought of the coming events...what will i do...
1/18/2004 03:06:00 ap.
lauantaina, tammikuuta 17, 2004
had band prac...really fun...and amusing...but sad as well...
well...some things came up btw ricky, fadzly and myself...and scared me to death...it has to stay secret...very secret...its still something agreed on...i think...
and they say that my witness told ricky sumthin...but i dun believe my witness would...and i dun think that fadzly would either...so i freak out and wonder whu else would know...
so i went home...and got changed and went back to skool for the parent meeting thinga majig...well...me and ranjani were there...so we spent our time talkin...and i found out sumthin else...my witness and fadzly argued...apparently bcos one of them told ricky wat happened...dilemma...bcos i'm inclined to trust both...but yet...i'm also more inclined to believe ranjani...but hearsay...not good way to go...
so i know don't know if its a revelation...or the confusion has cleared...i'm bothered...very bothered...and its makig me go nuts...i'm sandwiched...how i wish...
1/17/2004 07:47:00 ap.
perjantaina, tammikuuta 16, 2004
finally at skool...haiyor...tis yr i no more can gloat over boys...esp him...the near class one...ya...he finally taller than me...why din he work harder in sec 2...than perhaps we could have been in the same class tis yr...and the last...gosh...we really missed out on each other...
well...as usual went thru the routine of duty in mornin...and then classes...and then recess...and also had class wif mr chew...apparently he know's alreay one of his student's blog...so...mr chew if you are reading this...take no offence to wateva i say...bcos wateva you hope to find here is probably not here...and if you are findin material to tease me...well...all i can say is go ahead...
so go thru the routine lar...breathin and and then embouchure..and also some other stuff...assembling instruments...elementary stuff yesh...but many weaknesses...and need to mend lar...i'm not a good pp i know, i know...but i shall try to make amends...hopefully the juniors can unlearn stuff and learn back again...darn
mt clas is boring...i like eng better...and other stuff...talked to ahmad...and found otu he's really changed ever since OBS...for the better...he shouldn't do everythin for everyone...let them clean up after themselves, and dun clean up after them...teach those selfish bratz to be independant...and also get scolded when they need to...
sick but recovering wif the help of anti biotics...and also i found out i need to brush up for english...just bcos i'm fluent when i speak...and have the ability to change my sentences while capturing the essence of each sentence does NOT mean i will stand a chance against those students who are from established schools...
i need ideas...desperately...esp when it comes to my composition...i wonder when i see the works of writers like JRR Tolkien and also L M montgomery... also that Charlotte Bronte...their work is so rich...and not only do the stories expand on the plots...they show the characters developing slowly...and the storyline can always capture your attention...take, for instance, one of Montgomery's work...the Anne series...the development of Anne and the characters that surround her is so fascinating...and although the story takes up so many books...and all revolve around that one character and her daily events, the story still is so compelling...and actually makes the reader feel as if he were part of the story...and one feels almost emotionally involved with this fictional character...amazing...
well..enuf of this rambling...yup...i need to take medicine but since my mummy not home...i shall not take...actually must eat b4 taking...but i notti notti never eat..and so had my tummy upset this mornin...nvm...i shall do it again ...hee...ciao
1/16/2004 08:16:00 ap.
torstaina, tammikuuta 15, 2004
i've been dreaming of you...
thinkin of you...
i dreamt you were there...
to say hi to....
and the more i wish, the more i long...
absence does not make the heart grow fonder...
because you are not absent, but always beside me...
so near, yet so far...
so out of reach...
1/15/2004 07:14:00 ap.
another dae spent at home...boooring...
so i stay at home...an finished my book aft many days of reading...and still feel sick...
i just found out randall's married...oh no...oh well...nvm...there's sill hope wif theother two...and in case you think that i will never meet the two...well...a girl has the right to dream right?
want to go to school...and stay away from that idiot called my sister...hate her sooo much...yesh...hate her....the big kepo...
goin to entertain meself...ciao
1/15/2004 07:08:00 ap.
keskiviikkona, tammikuuta 14, 2004
yesterdae was okay..the server was down...darn...
orang putih...that was what he called me...to start a conversation...kind of a FLIRT...aren't you...oh nvm...
had classes...and then went fer band...quite okay...sound change sooo rocks...and our layout looks very very cool...yup...like their teaching...mr masri was okay also...and he reminds me totally of mr chew...erkerker...so funny
See came up to me in the morn in theory class...wif a prob, that i dun relly like to handle...i thought that that conversation was OVER months ago...apparently not...so well...i don't call the shots, so i went up to my Boss aka mr sallehin...and he talked to Fadzly, and Hanafi...and I talked to Aisam...and we talked to Liwei...and later they talked to Hui Ping...so i hope something has been settled...
I totally do not like it when ppl bring that quitting incident up as if it was a bad thing...esp like Liwei did yesterdae...it was my choice...one that i do not regret...and i repeat again...i do take pleasure in conducting, but NOT with the band i'm currently with...i'm the WRONG conductor for this band...and thats that...
ended up wif a fever last nite...so i'm not at school todae...goin to the doc's again...darn...and probably get an MC again...gosh...i dunthink i can take this any longer...
i never made any mistake in my life...at least not one that i can't explain...or a mistake that i regret...because all of them make up my identity...my soul...and who i am is who i am....yesh Boss...believe it or not...
1/14/2004 12:45:00 ap.
maanantaina, tammikuuta 12, 2004
mondae....and so with it, come the un-elusive mondae blues...was janice bdae todae...yup...she looked pretty surprised to receive gifts....hee....
spent recess time doin up eric's speech...the fella wrote so to point that it wasn't long enuf...it lacked wat i call flower power... freak...so wat did he do? ask me to do of course....crapz...tis okie...i shall not mind....so we spent quite some time correcting our speeches...and also in class lar...in maths...
mr tan's last dae as a sub..he bery cute when receve gift..." this is better than BBQ"....hahaha...it was just a samll token but it really amused us to see his reaction....and he offered tuition as well...i kinda interested lar, so i still thinkin abt it...
yup, got of MT early...infact...err... HE is sittin behind me...and talkin to me again....i really dunno wat to say...change of heart? perhaps....forgot the incident? very UNLIKELY
so i escaped early....and i went to the hall....only to have the lovely eric treat me like a slave....and then we got ready for presentation...and we all forgot our speeches and everythin was impromptu...oh my...wat a waste...
yea..got REMEDIATION....crapz....then go home lar...and sleep....
i shall cross the sea soon...i shall...
1/12/2004 11:19:00 ap.
sunnuntai, tammikuuta 11, 2004
had my CCA open house...first performance fer many juniors...and a time fer performance jitters...and some ppl to get scolded before they notice there is ACTUALLY and audience right in fornt WATCHING....gosh...
sallehin was so sweet, he got the band to sing a happi bdae song...so embarrasing...but still, sweet...fadzly never got thru wif his mass sabo-ing...erkerker...and i finally did get saboed by none other than eric...he throw ball bery bery painful...esp on the face...
but i got a number of presents...all nice and meaningful...and with a lot of though behind them...thank you guys...i love ya ppl...
then we had prac wif anthony chew and he did some stuff changin the set up...i finally feel as if we are havin a real band prac...and he took the brasses...and changed our sound...it was real great to hear the band rebuildin...and then i was off to the music room
i stayed there fer awhile...listenin to Beethoven...and also Mozart...cant seem to find his requeim though...darn...aniwae i was havin a capital time...those composers come up wif compellin music...until of course the parents came, i had some explainin to do...
and finally...i went down to perform...and help out...and receive more pressies...erkerker...then i was called up to go see mrs pang abt our presentation...and get saboed...and also to ask the rest to finish up my chockies...and see whether alvin really would go on and do wat he sayed he would....but he din...too much of a gentleman...aww you coward...
i went home and got my LOTR book!!! its sooo nice and true...more than it seems to be...it seems to draw me right to it and i cant stop readin it...
and finally we went fer BBQ...yea...and got MORE pressies...and cooked up a storm...and saboed...AGAIN...with cake cream...gosh...guys....tat's not nice...
but then after a while...the sound of the sea drew me towards it...as it always does...and i sat down nearby...and all the memories came floodin back...everythin...even down colours....it was so vivid in my mind...tat i started talking it out...i wonder if i shall ever cross that sea once more...
so i came home...totally worn out...and i was lost in thought....
ranjani came over todae...to scan photos and stuff...and to email some stuff to others...and i went to buy my pressie fer Janice...the sweet gal...
yes...i have been wounded...and i think i will never really heal...for some wounds even time cannot heal...esp those of the heart
1/11/2004 01:09:00 ip.
keskiviikkona, tammikuuta 07, 2004
haha...finally at skool...had a pretty tiring dae...i missed out on quite alot...our sub teach fer maths, mr tan, is okie...he looks so scared when he teaches, its so cute...everytime pause and ask if we okay...haiyor...so funny...
we got a very interesting view frm the class...sumone washing their window shirtless...and it created alot, alot, alot of chaos...erkerker...then we had physics...and english diagnostic test...and also bio...
cme was the wierdest though...imagine our teach standing in front of class trying to insult us but getting no reaction...erkerker...and poking fun at zhen hong...i think i will enjoy sec 4...although it may be hectic cos of 'o's...yea
my cough is better...but went i do erupt into coughing fits, it takes sometime to stop...mr seet hair looked funny today...even eric commented on it...and our whole class laughed at him...and i think many other classes as well...he looked as if he was trying to challenge all the girls with feelers in the skool...he had at least 8 i think....
spent lunch discussing the alleged homosexuality of tchaikovsky....with the rest of 4/6 of course...the interesting things you can learn at o level music class....infact, to sum it up, all the ppl we learn abt are loony or wacko...erkerker....
on the phone now wit ranjani...gotta go...ciao
1/07/2004 11:58:00 ap.
tiistaina, tammikuuta 06, 2004
still stuck at home...*cough*...but the coughin's subsided...and the runny nose...is no longer runnin...erkerker...
took medicine and became woozy...so i aint bringin it to skool tml...just the lozenges...
still haven't finished my hw...which is ok by me...finally goin to skool tml...
chew went fer band todae i heard...as well as liwei and daniel...i dunno wad happened...shall ask them later...
talk to ranjani abt posts just now...dunno how its goin to work out...
and tats all...bcos i'm woozy again...*cough*...gosh
1/06/2004 10:00:00 ap.
maanantaina, tammikuuta 05, 2004
went to the doc's todae...gave me lots an lots of medicine...yesh...and an mc fer 2 daes, todae and tml...so i can't see chew tml...darn...*sniffle*
still feel sick...and i slept the dae away...mostly bcos the medicine made me drowsy...and also because i felt really, really tired...*cough*
washed the dishes since i had nuthin to do..and then cleaned my room...i could turn into a perfect angel...eww...no way is tat goin to happen...i love bein a rebel...a tiny one, but hey, it still counts....
called ranjani...found out sumthin abt the posts...dang it...eugene's not in the position i wanted...in fact...he refuses to take any post....*cough*
found out sum stuff...but not safe to mention...i shall say later...aft everythin's been settled...yea...
now gotta go eat...eww...so i can take my medicine...it does help actually...*cough*...ciao...
1/05/2004 12:01:00 ip.
sunnuntai, tammikuuta 04, 2004
i'm sufferin a bad bout of flu...or sumthin like tat...i've been coughing all day, wheezing all nite...havin terrible head aches...stupid runny nose...and to top it all off...my voice has gone...yup i hate it when i'm sick...yesh i do
so, i'm not goin to school tml...and i need to go to the doctors...*cough*...and i'm bored to death at home...and i have the mondae blues...goodness, i dun even knoe why, its a sundae...gosh...*cough*
tried callin huda todae, but she's at work....and she's still at work...my mummy went to walk...and i'm stuck at home wif the guys...
had a nice chat wif ain yesterdae evenin...we talked abt the obs days...aww mannn...i miss them...the rain...and the sand...and gettin both of them on you...and in your mouth...and not gettin to bathe...and crappy food...and a super heavy pack...yea...i wish i could be back there again...kayaking...*wheeze*
dreamt a funny dream again...i dreamt tat i was walking in a shopping mall with mr chew...and it was his bdae...haha...berry funny...
argh...time to take medicine...enuf of my rambling...ciao
1/04/2004 12:41:00 ip.
lauantaina, tammikuuta 03, 2004
went fer band todae...actually feeling not too okie...but went bcos my father nagged me in the mornin...so rebel lar...haa...the rebellious gerl at heart...
it was quite crappy since tat mr chew din come...but i guess it went ok...considerin tat i din take sectionals...and tat i had to go out a couple of times to drink...and also had trouble breathing properly...
so get this...i went to fall in and this boss of mine went to make me pai seh...and ask me fall out...in this angry tone...and i couldn't figure out why he was angry...then i ask..and turned out he wasn't angry...so it was my turn to be angry...and so i went home...sorry i got angry hehe...maybe the cough got to my brain or sumthin....
then my mum went to tell me tt we were goin to the doc's...and all were closed...or too expensive fer her...so we just went to get nona's hair cut...and then went to get some groceries and stuff...and so now i'm sufferin with phlegm in by air passage and so i nedd to take deep breaths to breathe correctly...
and so...i slept most of the dae...and woke up feelin woozy...i haf no idea why...and so i think i shall go back to sleep again...now...ciao...
1/03/2004 11:51:00 ap.
perjantaina, tammikuuta 02, 2004
first dae of skool...it was sooo fun...
started out wif my back gate duty (as per normal)... and boy, did i have fun....then we went to the parade sq....for spot check of course...turns out, we got the former 4/6 classrm...and its okay, i guess...
had recess...and more duty...and then we went back to class...oh gosh...our class is like a class away frm 4/9...so i sorta see wc...when i don't want to of course...
argh...that person din come to skool...so i din see him...but clarence say he is still in the skool...so tats a relief...
but i guess the best part was tat HE had psl duty...so i dun see him most of the dae...which is good...ya knoe...actually before i dreamt tat freaky dream of HIM...i actually din think of HIM or the incident throughout...not now...HE's still there...hauntin me...and now HE sits across the classroom....casting sideward glances tat really make me wonder...but not to worry...bdae's cumin up, so i will see wat HE says...or attempts to not say....or whether he doesn't say...wateva
got a place wif ranjani...so well...we went to the hall and listened to the P boast abt our skool...i din mind tat she boasted abt the sec 4s results...but abt the skool? oh puh-leeze...
and finally we had a bery looooong councillor meeting abt our WITS...and the new council...did some votin...but i put the wrong person's name there....nvm...i actually dun mind either one...
so i called liwei...and then was told chew is NOT cumin tml...bad news...gosh... and that he's doin well...i hope so...and i won't stand anyone dissin him animore...no way...he's my BOSS...so this is a warnin...DUN NOT EVER TRY TO GO ROUND DISSIN MY BOSS OR I'LL BEAT YOU UP!!!
and dun you try dissin eric or wanting, or even alvin...i will kill you...i will....
so aft this wonderful day....i spent a wonderful rest at home...esp since i'm sick...and need the rest...and to go to a specialist...sec 4s i miss you...yesh...i do...so have a good rest...which i'm goin to do now...ciao
1/02/2004 09:59:00 ap.
torstaina, tammikuuta 01, 2004
skool starts tml!...yay! and to thinkits a fridae...well..i still haven't done my hw...but i didn't intend to do it in the first place rite? erkerker....
so i got and email from both mark and clement...yup...abt their bands...love band....adore band....sometimes i exert myself a tad too much...but...i love to give it my all...although jacob told me once that if i give it my all, my destiny will prematurely end...yup...i love debating with my seniors and friends...and some are gone next year...in fact...alot...so i will miss them sooo bad....
but...life goes on...who knows? i might end up in the same jc or poly as them....let's face it...it is a small world...as long as you are in singapore, no?...buti have bigger dreams...i want to be outside of here...this place is getting to me...i want to see the world...the beauty that God created....that deserves to be praised...and looked at in awe....and also i want to see the bad side...the part that humans have caused...the damage...that must be looked at and frowned upon...yesh...thats what i dream of...
there may be many bad things in this world...but as SAm says...there is some good in this world, mr frodo...those things are worth fighting for...
so what is my new years resolution....well...same as every year i guess...just to continue my life...and not to make resolutions that i cannot live up to...therefore i never make resolutions...never ever....i don't think i should really...erkerker....
so...i have to pack my bag...iron my uniform...and prepare fer school...how cool
1/01/2004 02:07:00 ap.